Confessions Of A Paradoxical Fille

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

After watching part of a show that questioned my belief in Jesus Christ as the one true Messiah, I started googling around to find out what’s true and what’s not. Logic and belief and pastor’s messages and sermons from the past came flooding back to argue against each other.

I felt troubled.

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
And the dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the lamb

But as I was listend to music, I started dancing in a way that I recognise as Worship dance. I did not know the lyrics to the song but allowed the song take control over my body to perform movements that miraculously fit the lyrics.

And as the song drew to a close, I felt quiet peace and assurance.

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy is lord of all creation?
Did you know
That your baby boy will one day rules the nations?
Did you know
That your baby boy is heavens perfect lamb?
This sleeping child youre holding
Is the great I Am!

D: problem is, he’s scared of lizards too
D: he better not be afraid of cockroaches
D: we’re quite similar
E: omg babe
E: what la
E: you nonsense
E: if you like him, stick to him
E: hahaha, who cares about cockroaches?
E: get yourself a freaking cockroach spray

…Why do I know people like this?

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

A picture is a thousand words. Like music, it can cause a torrent of emotions to flow through your veins.

I’ve looked at many pictures this week.

One left me feeling lost and lonely.

The other made me miss a past that I want to resurrect.

This one made me reminisce my past. A past that makes me wonder if I should have left behind.

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

That picture put a smile on my face remembering the night it was taken.

Another made my heart swell.

And one depicts a truth so uncanny it is now our picture.

Yup, it’s us.

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me…

November is a birthday month.

And I said that my birthdays are quiet intimate bonding moments with the people that matters most to me.

I said no parties.

This includes my boys. <3

And most definitely my girls. <3

I said no alcohol.

Well at least there was bonding…

And fire…

And a very happy girl this birthday.

IT’S ABOUT TIME, DAMMIT.

Peace out.

For me, birthday celebrations are usually quiet, intimate bonding time with the people that matters most to me. No parties, no alcohol… just food, catching up and drinking in as much as I can with my limited time with each person.

Be it over lunch, dinners, suppers. I just want to be with these people.

Thus, my birthdays are usually celebrated over a spread of days - The longest being two-weeks.

This year, it was three-days long.. with one more dinner/tea/whatever coming up soon.

The actual birthday (Thursday, 6/11) was spent with mum and dad and my favourite Northern Indian restaurant.

Conversation of the day:

Mum: So what do you want to eat?
Me: Butter Chicken
Mum: How about Japanese?
Me: Uhm…. okay la…
(after a few hours)
Mum: Sorry, Japanese cannot (something arose). So what do you want to eat?
Me: Oh okay! Butter Chicken!
Mum: Hmm, how about I discuss this with papa and we’ll decide when we get home?
Me: Oh… okay…

(At home)

Dad: So how about Victoria Station?
Me: Errr, don’t want la…
Mum: SF Steakhouse?
Me: Like that might as well go to Victoria Station??
Dad: Victoria Station better…
Mum: So what do you want?
Me: Butter Chicken
(Dad calls cousin to ask for Japanese places to go to.. And we finally decide we shall wait for the brother to come back so we can all go as a family in December)

(I take a nap and wake up)

Dad: So how about crabs, glass noodles, etc
Me: Har?? I dress so nice you want to bring me go eat crabs?
Dad: Then what do you want to eat??? Everything also don’t want.
Me: OMG la, I’ve said I wanted to eat butter chicken the whole day and you all ignore me and now you ask me what I want to eat? I want to eat butter chicken!
Mum & Dad: Ok, butter chicken it is.

My parents can be so cute at times la.

*

Friday Night started with dinner with Chew at some restaurant in the middle of a Kampong. Balinese food and the best fresh coconut you’ll ever find. Young, sweet and so awesome, I still want some. Creamy butter fish and Thai otak otak and pandan chicken (which I missed in the earlier part of the day). Yum yum.

And a really good band to entertain us after dinner with songs that beat Mumbai with their own rendition of Kau Ilhamku and the best birthday song played by the saxaphonist. This band, can sing Malay, English and Chinese songs. I do like how they sang “Peng You”.

The Dinner Partner

Immediately after dinner, we zoom zoomed to A&W for waffles, curly fries and root beer.

After much more food, catching up and laughter. The camwhoring began.

Jenna and I

Ai Leen and I

Li Yen and I

Victor and I

Chew and I

3/4 Hotchiqz.... where's Ally? :9

The Unlikely Crew

Birthday roses '08

To be continued…

Lucas: You fall in love with rebounds?
Brooke: Every time. But it’s not real love. Your head tricks you into it to protect you from the crushing pain your heart is putting you through.

How then do we mere mortals figure this out? When do you realise real love from the rebound love?

Two years ago, I cried bitterly on my birthday.

One year ago, I cried bitterly for my birthday.

This year…

All smiles

All smiles.

In the loving embraces of people that love me..

And pictures will be up… when I can transfer them over. :):):)

And I’m sorry I didn’t manage to meet up with everyone this trip home. next trip for sure!